I think the main thing I’m feeling lately is grief.
It’s frustrating to see how the world could be, how our lives could be, and being unable to persuade others that status quo is not the way forward.
Among today’s readings: Feds might force employees back to the office four days a week. Canadian COVID-19 Hazards Index for Sept 28 – Oct 11. How the fossil fuel industry lobbies to criminalize peaceful protests. Employer forces employees to keep working until hurricane gets so bad employees die on their way home; employer offers “thoughts and prayers.” Plastic recycling is a lie, AI wastes huge quantities of energy and water for answers that aren’t necessarily even correct, governments are clearing encampments without addressing homelessness. It goes on and on.
How do people see this status quo as worth defending?
There’s only so much productivity I can muster out of grief. I went for a walk, in the gray and the wind, and tossed sunflower seeds to ducks until a squadron of Canada geese made a loud honking entrance. On my way home I crouched down to meet a five-month old dog, all wiggles and trust and joy.
Yesterday I took a walk to buy some dirt, to repot a plant that needed more space, and I ended up in conversation with an enthusiastic young cashier who was thinking about going into criminal law. I try not to alarm complete strangers too much: I managed to say only that it’s challenging and can be rewarding but also discouraging.
I didn’t say anything about the trends I see in criminalization (Indigenous people, Black people, trans people, homeless people, climate protestors, mask-wearers), or the trends I see in approach (surveillance and fortification and isolation and punishment and force). I didn’t share my worries for kids and their future. I just understatement-ed that it can be discouraging and I wished the cashier / student luck.
I wonder if that was the right call. Maybe sharing grief is a better way.
A friend who prefers solarpunk to relentless bleakness shared this article about how essential it is to take care of ourselves, despite all the pressures to the contrary. I used to skip breaks and work through lunch and do overtime, and eventually my nervous system broke. A large part of my grief comes from seeing others on the same path and feeling unable to prevent it. But I keep trying, because what better use of my time is there than encouraging people to stand up together for the future they want?
My friend invited me to help make seed envelopes, to fight back with biodiversity as governments pave and extract. A small measure of hope against grief.
For now, I’m thinking about making some soup. Even in grief, we humans need to eat.
Grief
I think the main thing I’m feeling lately is grief.
It’s frustrating to see how the world could be, how our lives could be, and being unable to persuade others that status quo is not the way forward.
Among today’s readings: Feds might force employees back to the office four days a week. Canadian COVID-19 Hazards Index for Sept 28 – Oct 11. How the fossil fuel industry lobbies to criminalize peaceful protests. Employer forces employees to keep working until hurricane gets so bad employees die on their way home; employer offers “thoughts and prayers.” Plastic recycling is a lie, AI wastes huge quantities of energy and water for answers that aren’t necessarily even correct, governments are clearing encampments without addressing homelessness. It goes on and on.
How do people see this status quo as worth defending?
There’s only so much productivity I can muster out of grief. I went for a walk, in the gray and the wind, and tossed sunflower seeds to ducks until a squadron of Canada geese made a loud honking entrance. On my way home I crouched down to meet a five-month old dog, all wiggles and trust and joy.
Yesterday I took a walk to buy some dirt, to repot a plant that needed more space, and I ended up in conversation with an enthusiastic young cashier who was thinking about going into criminal law. I try not to alarm complete strangers too much: I managed to say only that it’s challenging and can be rewarding but also discouraging.
I didn’t say anything about the trends I see in criminalization (Indigenous people, Black people, trans people, homeless people, climate protestors, mask-wearers), or the trends I see in approach (surveillance and fortification and isolation and punishment and force). I didn’t share my worries for kids and their future. I just understatement-ed that it can be discouraging and I wished the cashier / student luck.
I wonder if that was the right call. Maybe sharing grief is a better way.
A friend who prefers solarpunk to relentless bleakness shared this article about how essential it is to take care of ourselves, despite all the pressures to the contrary. I used to skip breaks and work through lunch and do overtime, and eventually my nervous system broke. A large part of my grief comes from seeing others on the same path and feeling unable to prevent it. But I keep trying, because what better use of my time is there than encouraging people to stand up together for the future they want?
My friend invited me to help make seed envelopes, to fight back with biodiversity as governments pave and extract. A small measure of hope against grief.
For now, I’m thinking about making some soup. Even in grief, we humans need to eat.